McKayla's Site

The showcase project demonstrates that I have a rather good handle on mying necessary local revisions like grammar. Reading through the final draft, very few, if any, errors in grammar were present. I tend to use a variety of simple, complex, and compound sentences in my essays. Throughout this draft, no sentence is run on or fragmented, and each is punctuated. I only cited a few sources in this essay, but the in text citations I make are correct in terms of notation. In text citations have the authors name followed by the page number from which the evidence was taken, which I did for all my evidence in my essay. My MLA citations at the end of the essay are only partial because I could only find so much of the information. I included the authors’ names, the text titles, and the page numbers from which the evidence was taken. Normally, the date of publication, the larger source the text was taken from, and so on, but these were unknown.

I have become much more comfortable with providing and receiving peer review criticism. Peer review gave me a glimpse into what my reader thinks while reading my writing, which I found to be very beneficial. I often get lost in my thoughts, so it becomes either reassuring when others understand it clearly, or helpful when it is confusing to them and they tell me. In a research assignment this semester on how to eat well, I found that making a collage of the essay really helps to visualize where sections might fit best. I used this technique to reorganize my research so that it would make the most sense to my audience. Another feedback method that worked very well for me was reading between the lines. I felt it was really beneficial to be shown the places where I lack extra detail because I don’t want my reader to get lost in implications rather than the main point. This review strategy helped to bring those implications to the light, allowing me to revise the cloudy areas better. Both of these strategies I would like to keep using in the future because they provide valuable feedback that indicates the train of thought of the audience when reading my work.

Critique

When approaching active, critical reading, I must read the text a few times to absorb what is said. After the second time reading it, I go back, and I’ll highlight important parts of the text that I want to remember later. In the margin, I’ll usually try to do a short annotation. Typically, when reading, I’ll usually ask myself questions about what’s going on in the text, and what something may mean. As I am reading the text, I usually will add comments at least every few paragraphs. All texts have a purpose, thus outlining the main points and evidence as I write helps me to visualize the overall argument or purpose of the text, like Gilroy’s advice at active reading. When informally reading and responding, I usually read the text a few times, trying to grasp a few different viewpoints. By doing this within the text I am reading, It educates me on the effects of a text on different types of people. I incorporated this strategy in my own writing by paying attention to other possible opinions about what I write. Doing this allows me to “interrogate” the text by questioning each point. By not immediately trusting what you read, you can go back and read the same points that provide a new perspective on an issue, minimizing bias. In researching for essay 3, critical reading helped me to decide which sources were reliable or not. I used a few commercial and non-profit site that have the possibility for low credibility. I decided based on my close reading that those sources were credible. After reading, I also may free write about what I read for a minute or two to either quickly summarize it, or draw a few conclusions from it.

active reading

 

Evidence in writing is needed to support an argument or a standpoint, otherwise why should the reader believe it? In my final draft of “How to Succeed as a Physician,” I used examples from medical comics to support my claim that professional should use empathy when treating patients. More specifically, I claimed in one of my body paragraphs that “Physicians need to become experts not only of the information in the medical field, but also experts in empathizing with patients.” That is an arguable claim which some may argue that doctors only need to be able to perform their job. But I followed up my claim with evidence from a comic in “The Crayon Revolution” that showed my audience that empathy is apart of the job, and actually makes the job more effective. In using the evidence, I chose to paraphrase the comic, rather than summarizing the whole thing. I quoted only a few words, “old person whisperer,” because they best phrased what the character in the comic was. Because the character in the comic became more successful at her job through the use of empathy, my analysis of the evidence connects her success with how people in medical professions can be more successful by using empathy. By including this evidence from an outside source, my claim actually has meaning and can be more trustful.

Showcase Project

In “How to Succeed as a Physician,” I made many local and global revisions, including adding paragraphs and details, rearranging sections so it flows better, deleting details I don’t need, and I left a few things the same. The biggest revision I made throughout my drafts was changing my thesis, however. My thesis was originally supposed to claim that medical students become dehumanized from the work overload they receive. But in my process of revision, I noticed that my thoughts weren’t entirely on board with this thesis. Finally, I settled on the thesis that physicians need empathy to successfully care for their patients. I took out most of the details that had to do with medical students because that really wasn’t my focus. Instead, I replaced them with details showing the necessity of empathy in the medical field.
Another revision I made throughout drafts was I added evidence to support my claim. I used comic evidence from the articles we read in class on medical comics, which served to support my opinion that empathy is very important for medical professionals. Locally, I changed some of my wording so that my voice was clearer and sounded more relaxed. Overall, I have become much more comfortable with the act of revising essays because I can now accept that it is a part of the writing process. My writing in previous attempts were not bad, but maybe underdeveloped. I now feel confident that I can fully develop a quality college essay.

Showcase Project