In “How to Succeed as a Physician,” I made many local and global revisions, including adding paragraphs and details, rearranging sections so it flows better, deleting details I don’t need, and I left a few things the same. The biggest revision I made throughout my drafts was changing my thesis, however. My thesis was originally supposed to claim that medical students become dehumanized from the work overload they receive. But in my process of revision, I noticed that my thoughts weren’t entirely on board with this thesis. Finally, I settled on the thesis that physicians need empathy to successfully care for their patients. I took out most of the details that had to do with medical students because that really wasn’t my focus. Instead, I replaced them with details showing the necessity of empathy in the medical field.
Another revision I made throughout drafts was I added evidence to support my claim. I used comic evidence from the articles we read in class on medical comics, which served to support my opinion that empathy is very important for medical professionals. Locally, I changed some of my wording so that my voice was clearer and sounded more relaxed. Overall, I have become much more comfortable with the act of revising essays because I can now accept that it is a part of the writing process. My writing in previous attempts were not bad, but maybe underdeveloped. I now feel confident that I can fully develop a quality college essay.

Showcase Project